Substitute teacher
by Lilcarrot
Summary: The "guys" are playing a cruel joke on Hiei, and Hiei recieves a rude awakening from a shrewd demanding school secretary. As if its not already bad enough Hiei meets the worst class ever and he doesn't know the first thing of teaching.
1. Default Chapter

The Substitute Teacher  
  
Hiei awoke like every other day, and got dressed like every other day, and then he went downstairs. He knew the day would be odd when there was no one to be found, not even Kurama and his breakfast was unmade. He began to make his cereal when the phone rang B-R-I-N-G!!!!! B-R-I-N-G!!!!!! the infernal ringing was enough to drive him mad, he sprang to his feet and dived at the phone. In his gruff annoyed voice he answered the phone in an annoyed tone "Hello!" he barked into the phone, his least favorite of all earth things. The person on the other line was silent, again Hiei yelled "Hello!!" finally the person on the other line began to speak. "Hello, sir." "Is there a man by the name of Hiei um... well I cannot pronounce the last name sir but is there a man by the name of Hiei there?" asked the presumptuous woman. "Well is there sir? The shrewd voice rang out yet again. "Yes, for the love of all that's holy, I am Hiei!!!" shouted an even more annoyed Hiei. "Oh well in that case, I am to report that you are needed at the school immediately for Mr. Patterson's class." Hiei looked at the phone shocked "what do you mean, why would they want me?" gasped Hiei. "Well sir, we got your application in the mail a week ago on your college degree and how you really wanted to go into teaching." "we just assumed that you would like to be a substitute until we could find you a permanent placement." "Aghhh!" shouted Hiei "listen here you... shrew... I"................................................................................. Beep...Beep....Beep the dial tone gone and Hiei left to be a substitute teacher to little urchins in some Mr. Patterson's class. "Curse you school" Hiei muttered "and since when did I sign up to be a teacher never would I even consider it, I hate children!" Hiei looked at the clock, "now what time does this school thing start?" Hiei muttered to himself he was completely clueless. "Well what time is it?" he glanced at the clock it said 7:45. Then Hiei remembered the first time he went to the 6th grade he had Mr. Crupper the meanest most horrible teacher there was. Hiei happily approached the door and met face to face with the evil teacher of doom "You're late" yelled Mr. Crupper! "um"... Hiei took a deep swallow "sir I have never been late before" answered Hiei timidly. "The bell rings to be here at 7:58 young man." .................... Then Hiei came back to reality "I am going to be late!" Hiei scrambled into a suit and ran find his keys and sprinted out the door. . . . . . . ......................................................................................... ............................................................................................................. ..........................................  
  
At School  
  
Hiei reported to the office and began frantically looking for the principal "Hello? is there a principal here!" shouted Hiei. A secretary over heard him "Sir the principal is in a conference right now please be seated until it is done." "What!!?" Hiei looked appauled "I am a supposed sub. and I suggest he tell me where my supposed class is" demanded Hiei furiously. "Who are you subbing for?" asked the ditzy secretary. "A man called Mr. Patterson." Stated Hiei bluntly. "Oh heavens you poor man,..... right this way....... Sir." The ditzy secretary led Hiei down the hall door after door they passed and finally at the end of the hall at the opposite end of the school sat a classroom.  
Hiei looked at the door and then took a very deep breath and with that breath he found the courage to enter. He pushed open the door to behold a class of little mocking brats. "Hello class" said the secretary "this is your sub." "Please make him feel comfortable, and no gum in the chair this time, good day sir." The secretary bowed towards Hiei and briefly exited the classroom.


	2. class of horror

The Class Of Horror  
  
Hiei walked to the front of the classroom and stared into the eyes of the most terrifying creatures ever, children. "Hello, I am Hiei I am your sub." he looked on and his fear was very apparent to the children. There were two very particularly evil children whom sat in the back row mischief glinted in their eyes and Hiei just knew they were going to be his problem. Class went well at first until a free moment came and then questions aroused. One of the mischevious eyed students looked at Hiei and raised their hand "Mr. um Hiei sir, what's up with your height, I mean I am taller than you and I am incredibly short?" asked the overly cheerful child with a fat stomach. Hiei muttered to himself what am I to do, how did I get here I mean I never wanted to be a teacher ever! "Well!" Persisted the annoying child impatiently. "I just am!" shouted Hiei. "Now if you will please take out your English books" said Hiei in an aggravated tone. "Yeah, yeah, yeah" said the girl next to the other cheerful child. "We'll do what you want as soon as you answer some questions of ours." The snobby girl looked at Hiei demandingly with no signs of weakness, Hiei was forced to cave. "As you wish" sighed Hiei loudly. "Ok then" inquired the cheerful one. "What is with the hair?"  
"That's just the way it is, what's with all your questions?" "Nothing, nothing at all." The cheerful one said. Now it was the other persons turn to mock their new play object. "Why are you wearing a dress, I mean you are a guy right?" Before Hiei had the chance to speak the cheerful one stepped in. "It's not a dress it's a gown stupid." "No it isn't" "Yes, it is." "You're both wrong!" shouted the angered Hiei "it's an overcoat, do you get it or should I explain it in lame mans terms!" belted out the exasperated Hiei who's face was now turning red with agitation. "An O-V-E-R-C-O-A-T, OVERCOAT!!! Do you get it?" "Well" the cheerful one began. Hiei stopped her then and there "No More!" "English time!" "But....." But nothing you overly cheerful child "ENGLISH NOW!!!" 'But you are wearing a dress." Said the cheerful one. "My mother said to avoid crazy men in dresses." 


End file.
